Feb 06, 2012
“Stewarding” Emotional Energy: Part I.
Posted by Pastor Todd Murphy in | Comments (0)
What does it mean to be a steward? Well it does assume several things. First of all, it assumes that one has the responsibility to oversee and manage something. Second it means that there is time to invest and time not to invest. Does that mean to just be tight handed and stingy? No. Good stewardship is about knowing when to invest and when to save whatever it is that you are entrusted with. Look at these words about the pastor or overseer of the local church in Titus 1:7-9:
Titus 1:7 For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. 9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.
Notice some of the key words describing him as a steward: hospitable which means giving, not stingy; self-controlled meaning he has mastery of himself, of his body and emotions; or disciplined meaning that what he does or does not do is the result of a thoughtful decision, not impulse and reaction. We have to keep in mind that the overseer is called to be an example to the rest of the church. This means that this is not a standard for just himself, but the whole church. He is meant to lead by example.
Emotional Energy
The reason I raise the question of stewardship is in regard to how we manage our emotional energy. When it comes to managing time, money, responsibility, and other resources, we easily understand that. They are concrete things. But our emotions tend to never get the same consideration. But are they less worthy of stewardship? I want to think about the way we invest our emotional energy. Do the things we pour large amounts of emotional energy into always deserve the amount we are giving them?
Lets consider sports as an example since today is the day after Superbowl 46. This is a good example for me because I am a NewEnglander and a Patriots fan. Sports is something that us New Englanders pour a lot of emotional energy into---actually way too much energy. When I first moved back to New England there was a man by the name of Thomas Junta being convicted of killing another hockey dad over a dispute regarding their two kids. To his credit, he did not mean to kill him. He thought he just knocked him out. But the man died as a result of head injuries. Think about that. A little boy lost his dad over a hockey game. He will grow up fatherless because two men could not properly modulate the amount of emotional investment they put into a youth sports event. Isn’t the point of youth sports for teaching them “sportsmanship?” At least we usually say so.
Choosing Wisely Where to Invest
Last night was a tough game for New Englanders. It was almost a repeat of four years ago. It was a close game. The Giants pulled off a final scoring drive to get ahead and managed to not leave much time on the clock of New England to do much about it. Today many New England fans will be bummed. I mean really bummed if not completely depressed. But I have to ask. Is it worth it? Is it really worth investing that much emotional energy in something that is really has no lasting importance for your life? Sports is something that everyone of us can live without. And if that sounds absurd to you, then you are definitely investing way too much emotional energy in it. But the principle cuts both ways. There are many Giants fans and those who just hate the Patriots that will be inordinately elated about the whole thing. Is that any healthier? Do we really think the fact that one sports team beat another is a legitimate reason to be happier in life today? If so, why? Have you ever asked yourself that? Why does something that has absolutely no immediate or lasting impact on the things that mean most to you (spouse, children, job, friends, etc.) bring you such joy or sorrow? And if it has no real significance to real life, then have you asked yourself why you invest so much energy in something like this? And so let me be clear on this; if it sounds to you like I am suggesting that you have a choice in what you invest in emotionally, then you are right. You really have a choice, and one of the biggest steps in maturing as a human being is learning this point. You have a choice of where, how, and when you invest the best part of your emotional self. And when you do not learn to do that, it leads to bad priorities and immaturity as a human being.
Sports is just one example that hits close to home. But there are a million other things that you could insert in its place. A lot more men do this with sports than women. But we all have things like this, both male and female. We all have an emotional capacity. And within that capacity, we can all handle only so much anxiety and then we can overflow our banks, kinda like Mr. Junta. This is usually called “losing our temper.” No most of us do not go that far, but how often are we emotionally invested in things that ultimately do not matter much, and yet they drain our capacity to yield real emotion when it is needed. How many men light up with excitement to talk about last nights' game, and yet are almost unable to sit and listen to their child or wife when they need a real friend. How many women are so self-absorbed with either how they look or the condition of their home but seem too busy to really notice the emotional needs of their child or friend. How many of us are so invested in our career that we cannot see the struggles of those we work with? These are some great questions to ask ourselves. What are you dumping a large part of your emotional energy into? Is it really worthy it? Is it really valuable? Are you really being a good steward of your emotional energy, investing in the right things at the right time? Or are you wasting it on things that don’t matter so that you are not able to act compassionate and fully human when it actually does matter?
Posted by Pastor Todd Murphy in | Comments (0)
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