Sep 29, 2010
Gospel Centered Parenting Part 2: Expecting Obedience
Posted by Mitch Sliwa in Parenting | Comments (2)
Theology Shapes Parenting
My understanding of raising children has been changed by my understanding of God and how he responds to his children. God is so gracious, loving, kind and patient with his children. I look at my own heart, and I don't see the same attributes that I see in God the Father, but I strive towards them as the goal. The more I learn about God and his communicable attributes (Attributes God and man share in) the more I learn how to be a Father, and how far I fall short. When I look at his incommunicable attributes such as his sovereignty, omniscience, omnipresence or omnipotence it causes me to worship Him because he is powerful. Just recently I began to think of God's sovereignty (his complete control) over mankind and how it is similar to raising my daughter.
Expecting Obedience, anticipating rebellion
My daughter is 16 months old as I write this and she is just beginning to get decent at walking around. As I watch her grow in her motor skills, I watch in horror as she grows in her sinfulness. I find it amazing just how quickly she learns to manipulate my wife and I to make us do what she wants. I am also amazed at how much she is beginning to understand my commands. As a parent one of my jobs is to speak once and expect obedience. At the same time, when I speak once and expect her to obey I am actually anticipating her rebelling against my commands as her loving father. Is this idea biblical?
God expects holiness and obedience while knowing he will receive rebellion and lawlessness
Have you ever read the Old Testament and noticed how many times God commands the Israelites to do something and how often they disobeyed and totally blew it? How about in the NT where Jesus asks the disciples to watch and pray with him before he dies and they end up falling asleep on him and then abandoning him. There is a pattern in the Bible and in my own life where God commands, humans understand and then fail to obey. Does God really expect us to obey him perfectly? I submit to you YES! At the same time, he knows we will not and that is why Jesus came to earth. How can God expect something he knows we can't do? Is that fair to humans?
Calling dead people to repent
Have you ever seen a pastor go to a grave yard with his Bible and start preaching at the dead people in the ground? It would seem pretty silly for him to waste his time on dead folks asking them to do something they obviously cannot do. Did you know the Bible teaches that before God gives humans new hearts we are all "spiritually" dead? In the same way, our children have hearts that are in rebellion towards God. Why would we bother calling children to repent (turn from what they are doing) and listen to us as parents? Is it silly to ask children to obey and expect them to do it even though they have unrepentant hearts? The reason its consistent to call children to do things they can't do is because God calls us to do things we can't do. I fully expect my daughter to obey all of my commands but I know for a fact she will fail me at times. The heart of a parent should be aligned with the heart of God in terms of our children. God is so patient with us and our rebellion and loves us regardless of our failures. We would do well to model that same heart with our own children.
Posted by Mitch Sliwa in Parenting
