Oct 27, 2010
Missed Opportunities
Posted by John Gilkenson in | Comments (5)
Fear, doubt, worry, business, apathy…these are just a few of the excuses, and in some cases sins, that lead many of us who pilgrimage planet earth to have occasion where we will look back and lament over “missed opportunities.” This could be as simple as the grown man who remembers being a shy teen and fearing asking the pretty girl out to the prom. Later on, perhaps single or in an unhappy marriage he may then wonder “what might have been.” This is one of many examples of what may be a "missed opportunity, " and while many may find this trivial and may call upon those who struggle with grief and woe over these matters to simply “man up” and move on…this is a matter for some that is extremely difficult; for some it may lead to chronic depression, and maybe even suicide.
While the suicide of a friend (most likely in great part brought on by a change in depression medication) has weighed heavily on my mind this past week, the most recent and difficult thing weighing on my mind was the “missed opportunity” that occurred the day of his funeral. Though I am sure his family and closest of friends will be struggling with the what ifs and whys for who knows how long, I like to hope that many who were touched by a death under these circumstances can learn from it, and now use it as an opportunity to be more engaged and caring…and certainly watchful of those that they love. I know there is no guarantee that more love, more care, will always prevent tragedies such as this, but I do think this is a wake up call to get us out of a “take things for granted” mindset and into a better served “you never know” approach to relationships.
This is a great hope I have, one I pray is with me for more than the next couple of days or weeks, but one that I will carry with me the rest of my days. However, I still struggle with the great “missed opportunity” by those who should have known better. I am speaking of those in the “religion business” so to speak, those who should know how to handle things such as a funeral, and specifically a Christian one. Not being a Roman Catholic myself, one of a few Protestants in my state, I still am one who knows the pillars of the Christian faith, and how members of “the clergy” should be used primarily as ministers of the gospel in events that deal with the finality of death.
Now while much of went on in the Mass of Christian Burial is unfamiliar to me, I will add that much of the music, ritual, liturgy and robes that are standard elements of Catholic rites…I found no offense in these. Rather, I did find these things particularly effective as it was pointing me to something of the “sacred” in what was going on . Also at the eulogy during the service when a friends life was described by his brother in a way that could have as easily have taken place in a Knights of Columbus Hall with joyful memories… I found this comforting, not at all out of place in God’s house, almost in a way of the sacred meeting and kissing the secular. All of this was fine and I find much consolation in it. However, that pointing to the SACRED…the reality that Jesus Christ is the cornerstone and foundation of all those peripheral things the church presented well was strangely lacking and entirely disheartening.
While a priest or minister who presides over a funeral of one who is presumed as a Christian should make a great priority to comfort the afflicted; speaking of the joy of the afterlife and a place living with Jesus Christ everlasting….a thing not to be neglected by a gospel minister, an opportunity that should never be missed is the admonition of Hebrews 9:27 that reads, “It is appointed for man once to die and then face judgment.” This was something that was glossed over, perhaps the unpleasantness of the reality that many in the church are at best Christmas and Easter Catholics who are all wrapped up in their “all about me” world and Christ and His church are but an after thought at best, it was something that the “clergy” thought was best not brought up. Yet instead al who were there..all who attended the suicide of a friend beaten down and broken by the world were led to believe that they will all be meeting their friend "later on in heaven. This I lament greatly since clearly all who may profess Christ by word, baptism, or family heritage, clearly do not possess a genuine relationship with the living God.
The real disappointment of the funeral lies in the fact that the priest avoided a major role of his calling. Yes, he can comfort the afflicted, and for this we are thankful. But a true man of God will also afflict the comfortable. One who truly loves his friend will not kiss him with words of deceit, telling him only what he wants to hear, but rather he will wound him out of love to help him face life’s tough questions; are you really following God or are you just perhaps using Him as a rabbits foot or some notion like that. Jesus, called his disciples to a life of not casual acquaintance, but He called his children to die to themselves, pick up their cross, and follow Him. At a recent funeral of a friend, many there became acutely aware that they too will die and be place in the grave one day. There was an opportunity for those in attendance to hear the gospel message; repent of their sin and their lives of independence apart from God and their refusal to make Jesus Lord of their life, and turn and embrace a Savior who delights in saving sinners. This could have happened but didn’t. This is the saddest missed opportunity of all.
Posted by John Gilkenson in
