Aug 23, 2010
Negative perceptions of community done right (or wrong)
Posted by Jean Alexandre in Church Practices - Community | Comments (4)
Some of us have had experiences with churches or “church people” that have put us off. This sometimes leaves us with thoughts like “that place is a cult”. I’ve used this term in the past to describe churches I’ve been to. I’ve also had conversations with others about certain churches and their likeness to cults. This is especially prevalent in churches where community is done either very well or very wrong.
The main issue with most of us is perception. Most of what we experience in church is based primarily on how we perceive the church. How it should look/behave and the people therein. Our culture plays a huge role in that, along with our upbringing, family life, etc. Lets go through some of the most common misconceptions of community.
Community isn’t necessary
Community is an extremely important aspect of church and is basically what the Church is, a community of believers. If you’ve been to Sacred Journey you have heard Pastor Todd talk about community many times. It is something we are striving towards developing. This can be unattractive to some because relationships are required and that is usually difficult.
For instance, being enthusiastically greeted or engaged in conversation can be perceived as too forward. It’s the whole “this person is being too nice” mentality and usually leads to feelings that they must want something from us. Even those inside of the church can feel this way.
People are fake
Being in church but not actively involved in community can magnify an already negative perception of community. We might start feeling people don’t really care about us and we are more like a resource and less like a member. Even the relationships we try to initiate can start feeling fake and not real because we feel like people aren’t genuinely interested in us because we aren’t in them. Again our perception plays a huge roll in this.
Building relationships and community always involves risk. Anytime we open ourselves to others and start to care about them, it is very easy to get hurt. Many of us have been hurt by people we care for which can create this negative perception.
Community feels cult-like
This is one of the most damaging views one can have of a community. What makes this more complex is that it’s a double edge sword. A extremely vibrant community can have this negative perception towards it because of the inherent closeness of the people (think of the early church). Community done wrong, well, can get creepy.
When we draw a line between community life and our private lives it is easy to develop this perception. A simple phone call from someone from church, say to see how they are doing after missing a couple of Sundays could be taken the wrong way making us feel like we’re being “stalked by crazy church people”. Or even worse the call can be interpreted as an attempt to retain someone for the wrong motives, when in fact it was out of genuine concern.
Lack of relationship is at the core of this negative perception. When we are engaged in others lives we are less anxious about people getting too close because we realize we aren’t the only ones with issues. I have personally had this perception (and many of the others) of churches in the past for various reasons, the common element was my lack of any real relationship with anyone in those places. Some communities seemed closed and not welcoming. Others went after people outside of the community with a reckless zeal rooted more in their desire to see the community grow or win converts.
How can our perception change?
No church is perfect. I know that, you know that. If you don’t know that, consider yourself advised. Though consider this. Once we believe that the gospel has the power to change our lives, and we are indeed experiencing that change, we shouldn't forget the lives of others in our churches and communities who are believing that same gospel! We should practice forgiveness and love always remembering the grace that we are under and the price paid for it.
Just like you are a work in progress so is the church. Pray God will help us to strive with her.
This has only been a surface level exploration of some of the negative attitudes we can have towards community in the Church. By no means is this meant to be definitive. I welcome discussion on additional perceptions you believe can be harmful. You are also welcome to share good or bad experiences and how your perceptions changed as you engage in community with others.
Posted by Jean Alexandre in Church Practices - Community
