Mar 18, 2011
The fight of faith in the aisle of the Table.
Posted by Joe Paravisini in Church Practices - Gospel Identity - Worship | Comments (0)
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. (Psalm 51:16-17 ESV)
There was a time in my life when monthly (or even less frequent) communion was a time of great personal shame and guilt. I was often reminded beforehand of the gravity of the Lord's Supper, and how people who took it "unworthily" could get sick or die, or just generally bring God's wrath on them. I would spend the minutes before the elements were passed to me in anguish trying to remember all of the sins I might have commited, and mouth a quick apology to an angry God who ultimately seemed to want to share his son's precious blood with people who were better than me.
I was also frequently reminded of the fact that this was just a reminder, and had no spiritual significance. Something didn't add up, but you often don't see contradictions for what they are in a hieghtened emotional state.
There were many times that I would just skip communion, because I didn't think I had gotten my heart right with God. I saw the elements as a token that everything was good now, the slate is clean and I have tied up all my lose ends.
Flash forward 10 or 15 years, and I wound up at a church where the Lord's Table is we celebrated every week as a response to the sermon. You would think that if taking it monthly was a huge burden, taking it every week must be at least four times worse then taking it once a month, right?
Not exactly.
Some of my understanding of the Supper has changed. Some things in my life have changed. I can assure you (and so could my wife) that I do not sin a whole lot less then I did before. Sure, there are certain things I did then, that I no longer do now, but there are plenty of new things I have latched on to. The human heart is a factory of idols. I do not feel more worthy now then I did 10 years ago. What changed is ultimately my outlook on the Gospel, and my own sin.
Let me explain. In the past, I had created a list of do's and don'ts. Now before, you get all up in arms, yes I know the bible is full of do's and don'ts. But I had my own list. I judged myself on this list every month, and if I was able to keep a general balance of good vs bad, I would take communion. If I had a bad month, I would skip, or I might take it and then be afriad for the next couple of days that I would get hit by a car or struck by lightining. You don't need to know what was in my list, because what was in my list didn't matter.
The real issue here is that I previously had a self-righteous outlook on communion. I was ultimately my own god and judge, I provided my law, and I provided my absolution, before I went before the other God. The issue was not that I was examining my heart for hidden sin, but that I was testing my heart to see if I was worthy of the Table. Here is the big idea: You do not deserve to eat the bread and wine at the Lord's Table. I do not deserve it. No one deserves it! Even our righteous works are filthy rags riddled with sinful motivations and personal glory seeking. Our works will never be spotless before God. That's the bad news. Christ's completely innocent body was broken and his sinless blood was spilled by and for wicked men like you and I. We have no right to enjoy the blessings that he earned, or avoid the punishments that he took. That is the whole point! That's what makes the offer of the Gospel so good! That is why the highlight of our weeks can be repenting to God through his Supper. It can become a source of joy, hope and freedom rather than guilt and shame.
The Lord's Table is a place for you to remember your own hopeless state, and how, by God's standards, you are not worthy. It's the place where God tells you to come and taste the Gospel. To come and taste the unfathomably gracious offer to judge ourselves unworthy in the here and now, while our sins are passed over. Eating the bread and drinking the wine is an act and fight of faith. As you walk that aisle, allow your mind to be flooded with your unworthiness. Agree with your adversery quickly, the accuser of the brethren. But keep pushing on. Come to the Table with nothing but your sin, and leave with nothing but God's love and mercy. And do this as often as possible. As often as you hear the Gospel preached, look for ways to bring your sin-riddled and weary heart under the easy yoke of Christ.
Two thousand years ago, his one sacrifice was worth enough to atone for the sins of the every sin every committed by the billions of rebellious and wicked children of Adam. When you come to the Table, you are coming to "Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel." (Hebrews 12:24) The blood of Abel cries out guilt against a sinful humanity. The blood of Jesus cries out innocence and righteousness on our behalf.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
(Psalm 34:8 ESV)
Posted by Joe Paravisini in Church Practices - Gospel Identity - Worship
