Aug 17, 2010
Turn Your Critics Into Coaches
Posted by Mitch Sliwa in | Comments (2)
Back in March of 2009, I was blessed to attend a church planting boot camp at Mars Hill in Seattle. I listened to a sermon about how to endure from Mark Driscoll that greatly impacted me. You can watch the video here. One of his points was that we need to endure emotionally. Most of his sub points had to do with how to deal with critics. One of the points that hit me between the eyes was "Turn your critics into coaches." You can see all of the sub points to the sermon below which I ganked from this blog.
- Renew your spirit and energy. If you’re a introvert, people will not energize you. If you’re a extrovert, people will give you a charge.
- Make sure you know how to deal with your critics. If you have no critics, you’re not preaching the Gospel
- Realize that people will criticize you. Turn your critics into coaches. What can you take away & what can you throw away?
- Never respond to your critics on their terms. Be careful and sound.
- Do not react in anger and frustration. Make sure you temper yourself and react through prayer and patience!
- Sometimes you need to ignore your critics, not engage them on their terms.
- Have a plan and idea of how to handle critics before they become an issue.
Have you ever had a critic which you responded to in a harsh way? When you receive criticism is your first response to figure out how the critic is wrong or what they said was untrue? Do you lash out and attack the critic? Are you overly sensitive to criticism and get upset very easily?
All of these responses are examples of how to deal sinfully with criticism. I write this as someone who has failed miserably in this area, and is striving to improve. I recently had a situation where I was critiqued harshly by a former employee. My first response was to begin attacking his character and judging him internally. Instead of asking myself the question, "In this persons critique, what is true and what is false?" I disregarded everything he said as rubbish and began to go on the offensive. It took me a few months to finally realize that there were some things I could learn from his critiques and some areas I needed to repent of and grow in. This was the blessing of God in my life and I was able to turn my critic into a coach. I thank God for this person now, because I was able to learn some valuable life lessons.
I do this with my wife all of the time. When she brings up a criticism about me, my first response is to figure out why she is wrong and then mount an attack to win the argument. In every criticism there is truth involved. My job is to find out where the critic is being truthful and then disregard the things that aren't true. Turning critics into coaches is challenging for me because I have to shut up long enough to listen to the critique.
Instead of getting rid of your critics or mounting an attack when they give you criticism, take ear to what they say and use it to grow. If you are a leader at work, in the church, or at home, you should be all the more eager to listen to critiques. If you are married, you should be asking your spouse on a regular basis "Where can I do better, where am I failing?". If you are not searching for critiques, it might be pointing to a root of pride that needs to be dug out in your life.
Posted by Mitch Sliwa in
